Recluse

There are two folks at work who have been bitten by spiders recently. These are stay-out-of-work-go-to-the-doctor type bites.

Everyone is concerned that biter may have been the dreaded Brown Recluse.

If you want to gross yourself out, Google the results of a Brown Recluse bite. The venom is acidic and gives you this flesh-eating creepout effect. Bleagh. Even without that drama, a regular bite can get you all swollen and troubled.

One of the kids on my team was talking about all the black widows she sees on her horse farm. She was talking about the marks like it was something you hadn't seen in comic books and horror films a billion times. Black freaking widows! Acid-biting spiders! Poison snakes! Dead armadillos! Go Texas!

So I was thinking about the vile critters as I rolled home. I was taking out the trash and a lizard took off like a shot. He was in the garage somehow and was now cruising across the pavement. He was a round little thing and his short legs gave his body a comedic swaying motion as he ran. I'd seen him around before, so in the hopes that he decides to come over again I decided to nickname him Fatty.

This of course is a nod to the hilarious Fatty the Groundhog that lived in my parent's yard for some time.

But what was Fatty doing in the garage? Just visiting? Cooling off? It was nearly 100° that day. But methinks there was a more culinary reason in his choice of hangout. So today I scoped out the garage to see what was up. Sure enough: weird beetles here and there in the corners. Gross. Not a lot of them, mind you, but enough to bring Fatty over for some nom nom nom.

They were all dead so I broomed them up and knocked down the spider web. But on the base of the stairs I found these two little creeps. Nothing crazy but I thought I would take a snap. So I flip them onto a handy piece of paper and it's click click click. While, imagine my surprise when after fifteen minutes the little one starts twitching and flips himself over. I'm a guy and have no problem killing bugs. Still there was a tiny part of my brain thinking: you had never heard of the Brown Recluse until two days ago. Who knows what other nasty crap they have down here?

I squished him in a tissue and continued my day.